Monday, April 30, 2007


Hi Everyone!

We just got home from the spring Denver Gem & Mineral Show. I have been on three trips lately and hardly been home. My family has wanted me to rest, so they've kept me away from the computer and phone. So I'm sorry I've been out of touch.

I couldn't have FOLFOX last week because my white blood cell/platelet count was too low; however, I'd been on vacation with my sisters to Texas and wasn't about to take the shots on the road. I was able to have my Avastin infusion last Wednesday.

This week, I have been on the shots to improve my white blood cell/platelet count, so hopefully, on Wednesday, I can do FOLFOX. I go in at 9:45am, they take blood, and we'll see what happens. I need to check in with them about other stuff as well.

I'm down to two steroids per day. While my feet and legs are still swelling and bruising, probably from the chemo Avastin or FOLFOX, my left leg is doing much better. I think I'm getting my muscle back. Every day it improves. I'm still using my cane (thanks Mr. Park for the four-pronger), but I'm able to move my leg more easily and with less pain. I'm starting to bend my knee a tad. I'm really excited about that. This is the issue related to radiation recall which was induced by the chemo Gemzar which I'm not on any more.

I have completely lost my hair. But it's growing back in pretty fast and I think I look good bald!

Thanks everyone for your indulgence while I have been on all these heavy medications. Some days, I don't know how long I can go on like this taking all this medication, but if I can get off the steroids, if the FOLFOX will stall the tumor growth, if I can have radioactive seeds, maybe, just maybe, there's hope for me. Sometimes, I feel like I should just die and get out of the way, not drag everyone through this. But I'm not there yet. I think there's a chance. I think there's more time for me. If there's a duty to die, I'm not ready to do my duty. Besides, the daffodils are blooming in my yard, the grass is turning green. I've just reconnected to so many good friends from the past. No, I'm not dying anytime soon.

In the mean time, I do feel myself coming off the steroid taper and calming down. I'm hoping we'll drop the dosage this week.

I do want to post more about the three trips and some photos, but again, I find myself up too late, and I need to go to bed.

While in Denver this weekend, I got to see my Denver girlfriends: Jody Curphy, Susan Asher, Darlene Ritchie, Diane King, and Marcia Karshmer. Thanks to all of you for coming down to see me at the show or meeting us for dinner. We also spent time with Robert's son Ian. We were pleased with our sales, and Robert and I both did some buying for our businesses, but we were so busy, it was hard to get out of our room. I got to see many old friends from the Denver gem & mineral community, including Sandy & Chauncey Walden who introduced me to Robert twelve years ago, and for which I am eternally grateful.

Again, thank you everyone for prayers, gifts, books, recommendations, and support. Thank you for rooting for me. You can't imagine how it helps!

Just up here in Colorado looking forward to warmer weather and staying put for a while.

Sincerely, Caroline

We saw a fox on the side of the road near Ridgway coming home tonight. Of course, there were elk and deer and lots of baby calves in the valley.


yarnmaven said...

I'll bet you do look good bald! I dare you to post a bald photo. Gald your spirits remain high. Think of you often. Much love,

Hoskins Family said...

Hi Caroline,

Dave didn't lose all his hair. Just enough for him to worry about getting bald. It has started growing back, with gray the most.

I so admire your courage.

Take care!