Saturday, March 10, 2007


Having cancer is not all bad. There are some up-sides. Whenever someone asked you what would you wish for if you had that Genie from the bottle, did you say something like win the lottery? Or for one wild impetuous night, to be the meat in an Antonio Banderas - Benecio Del Toro love sandwich. (Just kidding, my husband is all I can handle.) Or to be able to eat anything you want and not gain weight.

As I have said in the past, I spent most of my adult life dieting, mostly on Weight Watchers, and now, I can eat anything I want and not really gain weight. (I actually worked for Weight Watchers twice as a group leader.) I've been pretty lucky holding my weight stable. I've read that many cancer patients die of malnutrition rather than the cancer itself as they start losing weight.

Sometimes I don't have a big appetite, but I manage to get some calories in there somehow. I do "reverse Weight Watchers". Lots of bread. I have ice cream almost every night. Last night, we went to a Chinese buffet in Montrose on our way home from chemo. Usually, we choose that restaurant because I have been queasy and I get soup, rice, and one of the blander dishes with vegetables. They usually make money off me, but not last night. I went to every table and had something off each one. God, it was good! They had crab legs with drawn butter. I hadn't felt like fish or seafood in so long.

I used to be so busy and just enjoy accomplishing things, that it really pissed me off that I had to sleep at night. Well, not anymore. I can stay up all night. I do try to lie down and be still for a few hours and sometimes I do sleep. (By the way, in my last post, the reason I didn't go to sleep that night is that I took an Oxycodone instead of an Ambien CR by mistake.) A friend of mine told me that the CR makes her have wild dreams like me, but the regular Ambien works better. Does anyone have an opinion on this? Yep, I was a work-aholic. Maybe that's what gave me cancer. In addition to eating fiber, be sure to get your down time. I get lots of it now, and I'm relishing my leisure.

I just looked at the time and realized I need to get to the bookstore. Elwood is working today and I told him it's his day to "watch me". Robert & a friend went rockhounding in the "west end" of Montrose County today - a much needed respite for him I'm sure. Nothing makes him happier than to go dig for rocks and commune with nature.

I told Robert yesterday morning that if I was babbling on and driving him crazy, just to tell me, and I'd be quiet 'cause we know it's the steroids. I don't get offended - I know it's the meds and I know it's a good thing for him to ask me to time out. He did do this several times yesterday. As I get older, I don't like to listen anyone rattle on too long about anything, but when I was a younger woman, boy, could I blab my face off. (Just ask my ex, Lance.) I still have some girlfriends with which I have very productive blab-fests, but I don't like to talk like I did when I was younger, and I think that's a good thing - no more verbal diarrhea. I guess we do grow up.

Okay, gotta scoot. More later. Love ya. Bye!

Oh, I did have a rich moment last night that I have to tell you about. Later.

Just up here in Colorado, enjoying my steroids, but I will be glad to sleep again. Dr. Bergen said it was okay not to take the sleeping med. He said no one ever died from insomnia. (I guess unless you fell asleep at the wheel. But Robert said if you fell asleep it wouldn't be insomnia.)

Sincerely, Caroline


Hoskins Family said...

Hi Caroline,

I agree very much with you about eating as much as you can. Dave got some of his appetite back and he's been eating beef like crazy for the last few days. We went to Outback last night and he had 12oz. prime rib with baked potato and green beans (clean up his plate!) Tonight we had ribs, baked potatoes, corn, rice and tortilla (had a few ribs left over). Store plenty of calories while you can!

Not sleeping at night is my problem, not his because I have to get up early and work the next day! He takes nap during the day. The earliest that he hits the bed is 11 PM and he gets up a few times during the night. He used to take Ambien (not sure if CR) and he used to hallucinate like somebody would be pulling his legs.

Continue eating as much and try to get some sleep. You're always in my thoughts and prayers!

Take care,

Arlene said...

Eat, eat, eat, and eat some more - - - good for you! Enjoy every minute!

soju said...

I highly entrust the use of Ambien if you need help falling asleep Ambien is the best which you can buy on WWW.MEDSHEAVEN.COM even without prescription. MF

hannah said... had changed their website to WWW.MEDSHEAVEN.NET you can order all medications you are looking for from their new site , I highly recommend them.